In recent years, cybersex and cyber-affairs have presented a new and difficult dimension in couple relationships. Internet use can easily lead to abuse, which can lead to addiction, due to the seductive power of anonymity, convenience and opportunity for fantasy and escape.

Not infrequently a spouse/significant other of someone addicted to porn and sex will tell me they have not had sex with their spouse/partner in months. They are in distress because he/she is spending hours on the internet viewing pornography. Often they wonder if their partner is having an affair.

Regardless of your suspicions, your relationship is in trouble. Get couples treatment, with a sex addiction therapist who knows how internet porn can affect relationships. If he or she resist going with you, this is another indication you should be concerned with. In this case, go see a counselor alone to help you figure things out for yourself.

For a couple affected by sexual addiction, therapy offers the opportunity to heal the pain of rejection, lies, broken promises and commitments. The first three to six months of couple recovery are usually the most stressful. Both partners must be willing to participate in the recovery process, individually and together. Sexual infidelity usually causes trust issues that can feel irreparable. Anger over the betrayal, and grief over the loss of a bond and  connection can feel overwhelming. In order to heal and return to healthy intimacy, professional skill is often necessary.

Couples who make their individual recovery a priority, accept that couple recovery is an ongoing process and are committed to the relationship will do well with couples therapy.